i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
