I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
