Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize