Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
