Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Randomize
