Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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