I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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