I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
