I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
