Tell her she can't have a vagina
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
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