so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
All the doctor said was why
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
