Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
