I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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