Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
