She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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