You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
