Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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