you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
