Your tits are I can't wait for
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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