with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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