i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
