I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Randomize
