I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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