he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
