I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Randomize
