Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Your penis caused this!
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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