I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Randomize
