So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
