No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
