I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
