Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
