just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
