idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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