Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
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