we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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