Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
