You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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