First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize