Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
