dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
