Too much gin, very little bucket
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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