Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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