it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
