drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
