Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
too bad you live with your parents still
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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