just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
