I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
my being single is dangerous.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Randomize
