if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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