The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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