I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
