how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
We have so much sex to catch up on
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
