One girl and one boy is just not enough.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Randomize
