i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Everyone says I win the strip club
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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