So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
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