we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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