Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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