They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
