Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
we're so committed to being not committed
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
