Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
