You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I feel like a drive thru vagina
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
