We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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