2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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