k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
