I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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