Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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