butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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