sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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