remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
