would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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