You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
