they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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